Saturday, October 01, 2005
Kev and I are so excited about becoming parents. Our baby is due on Valentines Day. I wasn't prepared to be so emotional about the whole process on a day-to-day basis. I love our birthmother. We are still trying to get to know her. She seems like a sweet girl whose life has been turned upside down by a series of unfortunate events. She's very brave and intelligent. She's also having a difficult time with placing her baby for adoption. We have great phone conversations, and I can't wait to meet her face-to-face. However, knowing how difficult a decision this selfless act of love is for her makes me emotional and uneasy....and terrified. I am so afraid that she will change her mind about it all...and she very well could. I don't think she'd change her mind about Kevin and me, just about the adoption in general. There is nothing I can do about it, though. I just have to trust that God is ultimately in control. I know that he will send Kevin and me the baby he intends for us to raise. I think this is our baby, but I won't know for sure until the very end of this pregnancy. At any rate, our lives and this birthmother's life are intersecting for a reason.