Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Well, as I've said before...each time I start to feel like I have a little peace in the whole adoption arena, someone comes and pulls the rug out from under me. Since my adoption agency hasn't bothered to find out or even explain the hospital's policy regarding adoptive parents to us, Kevin said it was ok for me to call the hospital this afternoon and inquire. Well, that was many tears ago. I don't know what I expected, but I can tell you that if I had been given stricter restraints about 4 or 5 months ago, I wouldn't be so disappointed today. For starters, the lady who answered my questions was about the 6th person I was transferred to, and she showed absolutely NO kindness, consideration, or empathy for the situation. In fact, she acted like I was trying to steal a child, which I have no intentions of doing! The only way we can see our child AT ALL is in the birthmother's room, under her supervision, even if she gives the hospital her consent for us to feed the baby in the nursery. The lady offered two consolations...we can look at the baby through the window and request that our birthmother sign papers requesting circumcision. I had at least hoped that with our birthmother's consent we could feed our own child in the nursery. NOPE! They won't even let us take the child out of the hospital when the relinquishment papers are processed after his is officially our son. The birthmother has to take him down to the PARKING LOT of the hospital and hand him over to us. I think this is the MOST INHUMANE policy for all involved. I can't imagine how difficult it will be for the mother to see us with the baby (which is the only way we can hold him for the first three days of his life) if she doesn't change her mind. Our baby won't have any real contact with family for 3 WHOLE DAYS! We get to be present for the birth and twiddle our thumbs for the next 3 days while the nurses go about their day discussing what their own kids said or did the night before while changing the diaper of the baby I pray I get to take home. Our birthmother wants our family to be present for the birth and everything. Where are they going to go? I'm not going to parade them in front of her. We can't even celebrate this joyous occasion. I'd like to know how I got to be the bad guy here. All I want is a family. I'm dying to take care of my child and no one will let me.